Rap Beef and Motherhood

Why Jennifer even knows about a rap beef and how it relates to motherhood (and being a woman)

Let me start by saying that I’m not all that interested in the Kendrick/Drake beef. I am a 44-year-old stay-at-home mom of a toddler…But I am interested in the piece, “Why Are Women Collateral Damage in the Kendrick-Drake War” written by Cat Zhang at Thecut.com. 

I didn’t even know about this beef until my fiancé put one of the Kendrick songs on for me to hear. “It’s an exciting time in Hip Hop” he said. “This is one of the first rap battles that has the ears of multiple generations.” 

I listened to Kendrick’s “Meet the Grahams” and Drake’s “Family Matters.” Honestly it tired me out; listening to these young men go at each other and each other’s families in such a curt way. All I could think was “is this what has the world’s attention?”

To be clear, I like Cat’s article. It’s hella relevant and she makes great points around why this beef hurts women, BUT did Cat (or anyone else) expect anything different? And if so why, since this has been the standard for rap beefs and more importantly, Black culture, for as long as most generations can remember? 

Besides the fact that Black women are still treated as the lowest on the totem pole, even by the men who say they love us, a game called the Dozens might help to explain the nature of how women are used in slandering each other.

The Dozens is played by at least two people who throw insults at each other until one person gives up. It’s commonly played by men but is mainly played in the Black community and most certainly is a mainstay in rap battles. Some say it’s steeped in slavery while others say it originated in Africa. Regardless of its origins, one thing that is critical to playing the Dozens is a “yo’ mama” joke. It’s the ultimate insult which shows that women have been collateral damage since the beginning. And essentially Kendrick and Drake are playing this game but on the ultimate level. 

Besides Cat’s expectations of how this beef/game is playing out, my other concern is that the article never mentions the word Art. 

Hip Hop, even rap battles (not beefs that escalate), are an art form. It takes skill to go back and forth, stay original and verbally punish the other person. Both Kendrick and Drake do this.

In my opinion, there’s nothing wrong with some verbal warfare as long as it stays verbal. Even if someone’s mama gets thrown in there—as long as it’s not me or my mama. 

I guess this is where motherhood (and being a woman) comes in. I’ve laughed at more than a few “yo’ mama” jokes and even at comedians (men and women) who have degraded other women. It happens all the time, yet I rarely stop laughing, whether the joke hurts me, someone I know or not.

But I don’t want my son to use women as a doormat in his relationships or in clever wordplay. Art or not, there are other ways to play this antiquated game. 

While I’m not invested in this battle/beef in the same way as others, as a writer I know how true it is that art imitates life. Because of that and the lyrics from both parties, I hope they get the help they need. Even if a portion of what they are saying about each other is true, all women should be alarmed, especially those referenced in the songs. 

Cat says that Kendrick and Drake are hypocrites as it relates to proclaiming to be feminists. Yes, both of them are hypocrites, but aren’t we all?

Jennifer N. Shannon is a writer, author, photographer and essayist who grew up in a small town in South Carolina. She wrote her first novel twenty years ago so she could experience people like the ones she knew from her hometown. The beckon by similar voices (and the fact that she’s now a mother and an almost wife) continues to lead her to pen and paper. Connect with her on IG and FB @writerjns or jennifernshannon.com

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